Writings
Death to "lol" » Sat, Apr 23rd 2005 6:43 pm
I realise that many of my significant writings on this site are just angry rants, but frankly the only things I care deeply enough to write about are things that anger me. That probably goes for most people actually.
Today, my hatred is focused on those annoying acronyms the kids have been using lately in place of actual English words and expressions; ‘lol’ being the one most frequently used. It’s only one letter short of ‘haha’, and ‘haha’ even follows the same ABAB pattern.
It’s becoming an actual word, but one whose meaning would be lost if pronounced. I think that’s why it was created: as a necessary replacement for audible expression. I could call you a moron in person and you’d understand that I don’t really think you’re a moron. If I typed it, it’s just “Moron.” The period makes it all the more blunt. But, “Moron. lol” is accepted to be playful. And ‘lmao’? An uppercase ‘HAHA’ is just as effective, and easier to type.
So if I understand why they’re used, why do I hate these shortcut acronyms? Because rather than abuse the English language, why not just use the equally-popular emoticons instead? 
and 
and son on? While they’re just as bad if not rendered into graphics, no text-based medium should exist that doesn’t parse them into images. “Moron. ” looks just as light-hearted to me.
This is just the beginning though. While lol’s existence is substantiated, others such as ‘stfu’ and ‘wtf’ were created by lazy smack-talkers; either they didn’t want their parents to see that they were cussing, or they couldn’t be bothered to type a full insult. Either way, I think you can see now how lame they are.
What about ‘brb’? Granted, if someone’s stepping out, they’ll probably be in a hurry so using an acronym here may seem justified, but no. It’s still laziness. If you don’t have time to write the full “Be right back”, then you’re probably off to tend to some life-threatening emergency. If that’s the case, you should be dialing the damned telephone or just b-lining it to the scene. I don’t think your chat buddy’s going to miss you for the 1-5 minutes you’ll be gone. If they do, that’s their problem. The glory of instant messaging is its flexibility of pace. There are no awkward silences. Waiting should be expected.
I hope you’re all taking notes here, because I’m trying to help you to better understand the versatility of your native language. English is pretty robust, and its applications aren’t limited to résumés and English papers. Punctuation is your friend! I know how daunting it may seem to type every letter of a word with more than six of them, but after some practice you’ll wonder how you got by in the past. Your friends will notice, too. They’ll marvel at your grammatical prowess as you convey thoughts and feelings that ‘lol’ and ‘stfu jew’ never could. Before long, you’ll be droppin’ commas and semi-colons like a 10th-grader and you’ll get ALL the women.
Ok, so maybe it won’t make you popular, but it will protect you from coming across like an uneducated moron (no smiley here because I mean it; write that in your notes) who’s too busy following trends to learn and use his own fucking language. And that, my friend, is a life skill.
1 Joey B. on Mon, Apr 25th 2005 12:39 am
Well said. I switched to writing properly through instant messages a few years ago, and it’s way better than the “uneducated”; method. A friend of mine says it makes me sound too serious, so now I’m going to link him to this and laugh in his face. ;D
2 ProtonageNet on Mon, Apr 25th 2005 1:34 am
When I post remarks online like this right now I try to write formally, but I hate grammar, spelling, and proper writing. The only thing I really agree with is the LOL thing. I find it annoying. Typing out multiple “hahaha’s” takes more energy than LOL so the user on the other end is more affected by the “hahahaha” text. Usually, when I talk online to my friends, I am very lazy typer. I just don’t want to have to think about how to spell stuff or use correct grammar. I know I should practice proper English, but I like being lazy like that. Also, I believe having the freedom of grammar restrictions and spelling restrictions makes online conversation experiences unique. I can emphasize things and or set certain moods with strange word arrangements or spelling things differently to get a “feel better” effect. To me, this applies to 1:1 conversations on a messenger service. Everything else should be properly written content.
3 Aaron on Mon, Apr 25th 2005 7:57 am
Joey B.: Am glad you enjoyed it.
ProtonageNet: I practice proper grammar and punctuation whenever I write anything. Your writing can still be unique to you without having to ignore the basic rules of English. I write a whole lot of sentence fragments by leaving out the words “I” and “You” if they begin a sentence: “Am hungry”;, “Will talk to you later”;, and that sort of thing. It’s still casual writing, and it didn’t take me much longer to type than “Hungry. Laterz” would have. The time you spend writing proper sentences is saved by the person trying to decipher whatever the hell it is you wrote using letters, numbers, and various symbols.
I don’t consider this any harder than typing “lazily”. I think the benefit of seeming more serious and worth reading outweighs the potential milliseconds I could save were I to adopt the trendy “IM speech”.
I used to say “lol”; and “brb”;. I don’t think I’ve ever used “lmao”; or any of the newer ones. This was about six years ago, though, and now typing in English is second nature.
In regards to the “lazy”; excuse: I know more than one person who’s actually handed in school papers using some of today’s popular abbreviations and shortcuts like “u”; instead of “you”;, for example. If these people would’ve spent the time “practicing”; their English while conversing over instant messengers, it would have saved them from the embarrassment that would surely come from seeing “u”; typed in a formal essay. You’re teaching yourself a second version of English, and I’m sure you’ve confused the two at least once. The milliseconds you save will be well worth the writing ability you gain.
4 ProtonageNet on Mon, Apr 25th 2005 10:10 am
Yes I do agree with the acronyming part of your argument. But you see that word acronyming? It doesn’t exists, people like you may hate it when people make make up words like that, but the people I talk to like to make up words and expressions using mixtures of words like that. I strongly agree with using “u” instead of you. I do type out words like that, and I do not use “lmao” or anything like that often. I never use “lol” either. I use words that require a sort of imagination. Now, I don’t talk like this to other people that I do not know. My typing habits actually changes with different people. For example, Joey, I purposely type very lazyish and carelessly simple because I like to agitate him about it. It’s just a simple style, I don’t like calling it AIM lingo or anything, more like Luap lingo.
5 Aaron on Mon, Apr 25th 2005 11:58 am
Making up words and spelling them logically isn’t really a bad practice for casual writing. However, you should still make use of the grammar rules that apply to making up words. If I make up a word, I put it between quotation marks. It’s things like that which most people don’t do because, likely, they don’t realise that it’s the right way to do it. Even mistakes like that are excusable though. Misspelling words over and over is fine too. My rant was about the people who completely disregard almost every rule of the English language. “how r u?” “whats up?” And so on. The question and exclamation marks seem to be the only two punctuation marks used by these people. It’s deeply disturbing.
It doesn’t matter that you’re lax with your typing to someone and strict when typing to someone else. The fact is, “casual writing”; doesn’t and shouldn’t entail abandoning punctuation and good spelling. You can be just as cute/annoying/offensive with real English as you can with your abbreviations and shortcuts, but I think you’ll find that you become more able to communicate your emotions with proper English. I’m sure if I’d written this response with the popular “IM-style”; syntax, you would have lost a significant amount of respect for me and my opinions.
I’ve noticed that people are more respectful of people who use proper grammar in their writing, most of the time. Why? Because they seem more experienced and knowledgeable about whatever it is they’re writing about. A repeated misspelling of a word, a missing or superfluous comma, or using ‘lol’ are all indicative of an author who doesn’t care about what he or she writing, or to whom they’re writing (obviously people make mistakes, but you get the idea). Your efforts to save keystrokes cost me brain cycles and energy wasted in frustration as I stumble from letter to letter trying to sound out strings like “l8r”;.
I don’t think people do it to save time anymore. They do it because they’ve done it so much that it’s second nature. Try typing properly for a few weeks and that’ll become your new standard. If people think you’re being too serious, it’s only because they’re used to decoding your old nonchalant writing style. They’ll adapt as you have. I can’t write quickly trying to use the abbreviations. I have to think about writing “u”; instead of “you”; before I get to it. These people think it’s a word and just type it. I think “you”; is the word and I just type it.
Hopefully at least a few people reading this will have decided to give English a chance at least for a day or so until they’ve gotten used to it. It’ll help them in every aspect of their lives, I’m sure.
6 ProtonageNet on Mon, Apr 25th 2005 2:52 pm
Totally agree, well said. It’s just a personal preference. When I first talk to someone online I don’t know or something, I usually type properly. All of my e-mails are well written, or at least I try to make them so. I absolutely can’t stand people who talk in “l33t” all the time. It’s funny for a while, or maybe adding “0rz” to the end of words to get a funny effect, but it gets old, fast.
The combination “l8r m8” is used often with me. It’s one of the few shorthand disconnects I use to communicate with friends. It’s something I used to type out in the Quake 2 games when some guys were leaving the server, I needed to respond fast before they left and I couldn’t wast much time typing out, “talk to you later” or “goodbye.” “l8r m8” can be typed in 300 milliseconds. And also “l8r m8” is just cool sounding anyway.
I do hope more people will start writing proper English, especially in e-mails. We here at the help desk at my school caught some pretty poorly written e-mails sent by English teachers. I was disgusted. Well written arguments, like your article, is a wonderful example of how serious and powerful English can be. As for “IM” conversations, it’s simply just a personal preference between the two users.
7 ProtonageNet on Mon, Apr 25th 2005 2:56 pm
Question about your site: do you use a file system structure for your articles? or is it an Apache trick running a rewrite to a PHP file?
8 Aaron on Mon, Apr 25th 2005 3:55 pm
I use mod_rewrite. Note the lack of any file extensions in any links on the site.
9 Ikkeric on Tue, Apr 26th 2005 1:48 pm
what are u some kinda mexican jew lizard
Ok sorry I had to say it. I’ve moved to more socially except-able forms of speech lately, and I have to say It feels nice. While having an acronym is just wonderful, I think instead of getting rid of them we should just cut it down. When you can have a conversation with someone and not read one actual word… We have a problem.
10 Aaron on Tue, Apr 26th 2005 3:22 pm
Glen and I had an exhaustive discussion about it this morning. He feels that instant-messaging is in a league of its own and shouldn’t be subject to the same rules as writing comments or sending e-mails. His disagrees that “haha” is a suitable alternative for “lol” because “lol” is an indication of laughter whereas (he feels) “haha” is simply the sound one makes when laughing, and the idea (in his opinion) is to communicate through text as if it were speech. (I hope I didn’t botch that summary).
While I can see what he’s saying, I still think that despite the medium, you’re typing in English. You use English words, so why shouldn’t you use punctuation and the other words which can just as easily indicate your laughter or any other emotion? I see it as a double-standard; he sees it has as two very different settings where it is acceptable.
The fact is though, people are using this style all over the Web. Forums, e-mails, memos… It’s not just limited to instant messaging. It’s unprofessional and it’s way over the line of “informal”, I think.
11 ProtonageNet on Tue, May 3rd 2005 9:56 am
dun dun dunnnnnnn true.
12 Cox on Tue, Aug 23rd 2005 4:12 am
You guys are gay. Thats all there is too it. I was on boss forums, found this link. Im not sure whos worse…the guy who writes this shit..or the people that respond to it.
Get a life, get laid…get drunk..anything else. I just feel bad for some people. Btw, dont bother flaming back at me…im never gonna check this POS site again, LOL
btw, LOLOLOLOLOLOLO LMFAO ROFL HAHAHHH LMAYONAISE! ROFLCOPTER LOLERSKATES!
Just to piss you off. GG, nub.
13 Aaron on Fri, Aug 26th 2005 9:58 pm
Since writing this article, I’ve been trying to come up with more reasons for kids to try to ween themselves off the short-speak of Instant Messengers. After having paid it more attention, I’ve noticed that those who have chosen to communicate with the saving of time as priority #1 have a harder time expressing themselves because their vocabulary hasn’t had a chance to grow. When they’ve limited themselves to “stfu” and “your retarded”, they are eventually left without the ability to convey their anger or their reasons for feeling it. English has been around for a very long time and is full of words to aid in the expression of our thoughts and feelings, but the more you try to abbreviate those words, the more likely you are to feel overwhelmed whenever forced to write them in full. Those who abbreviate will eventually find themselves frustrated as they attempt to communicate with those of us who don’t. They’ll lack the vocabulary to explain the many facets of their perspective on the topic at hand, while the others will look at them like two-year-olds struggling desperately to express their need to go potty.
When forced to communicate with nothing more than words, your true personality shows through. We can’t judge you by your baggy pants, crooked hat, or rugged beard; we’ve only your words to go on. Would you go to school in a brown paper bag? Then why would you try demanding respect with your brown paper words?
14 Conor on Sat, Sep 17th 2005 10:02 am
I reckon you’ve already seen this, but thought I’d throw it out there anyway-
http://homepage.mac.com/dataguy42/pel/
15 Chiquita on Fri, Nov 18th 2005 11:53 pm
This was in our paper yesterday and it reminded me of your site and this posting. Thought you might enjoy:
http://www.statenews.com/op_article.phtml?pk=33215
16 branaung on Fri, Jan 6th 2006 12:46 pm
i adore ur site style..
17 Dom on Mon, Jan 16th 2006 12:47 pm
I just read the one on l33t and thought i would just tell you its the type of language used by hackers to stop people easily reading there messages, of course now its retard ‘cause loads of people can easily read it.
18 Aaron on Mon, Jan 16th 2006 2:41 pm
Leet speak wasn’t meant to stop people from easily reading the messages. It was to stop messages from being easily detected. Words like "steal" can be sniffed out of packets, but with leet speak, you can probably spell it more than ten ways, so automatically detecting it would harder. It also means normally-written search terms won’t return documents written with numbers and other characters. It was basically camoflauge, but it was still easy to read.
Now it’s just used because it was cool. It’s still sort of funny, but now that EVERYONE uses it, the novelty’s sort of wearing off. It used to be that only true geeks got the joke. Now it’s just something everyone does.
19 Ande on Tue, Apr 25th 2006 12:37 am
You don’t understand though, phrases like rofl, lol, wtf, and so on are part of a new, online, culture. This culture does not put emphasis on grammar, spelling, or elegant writing. Using these phrases in no way degrades a persons vocabulary to the extent Aaron describes. In fact, I find that those who are a part of this online culture and use said phrases actually articulate and compile words better than those who aren’t a part of it.
20 Mike H. on Tue, Apr 25th 2006 12:47 am
The only thing i have to say; lmao can be used mildly sarcastically/disrespectfully/haughtily. for example.
\”Your CS score was 20-3?! lmao, right…\”
however, it sounds just plain idiotic to say,
\”Your CS score was 20-3?! HAHAHA, right…\”
21 Adam Schwabour on Tue, Apr 25th 2006 12:55 am
ROFLMAO yeh tis guy is so n00b rite liek omfg lawl teh noobage stikns bad hear… dude u shuold relly lern 2 gramer plz k thnx cuz liek i cant undrestand u 1 bit. Mayb its cuz u r liek so noob i bet u culdnt get 1 hs w/ teh famas rofl
22 Tim Smith on Tue, Apr 25th 2006 9:47 pm
Well, I’m glad that you have the testicular fortitude to post such a controversial thing on the internet. However, I would have to give you low marks for content and logic. I think that your criticism is valid against ‘users’ of our language who use such expressions in place of actual speech, however your claim begins to become logically falacious afterwards. You seem to believe that those of us who choose to use such phrases, both on the internet and in ‘real life’, lack the capacity for meaningful and intelligent communication. This , as someone such as yourself who seems to frequently post vitriolic statements on the internet should know, is a very broad generalization. Broad generalizations are nearly always incorrect ones; there are many people that I know who serve as counterexamples to your assertion that those who ‘speak’ with abbreviations and acronyms found frequently on the internet lack the capacity for real communication; I can say ‘stfu your retarded’ when that is the most effective means of conveying my point to an audience. Or, I can post on the website of a person with whom I disagree in a civil and, I hope, logical manner.
I would also like to elaborate on Ande’s argument concerning the place of the evolution of internet culture, and it’s relation to such faux language. Our language has always evolved through bastardizations; the Norman invasion of England, the Viking invasions in Northern Britain, and so on and so forth. The language you currently speak would be a horror to the ears and eyes of the monks who saved it during the Middle Ages, but that does not lessen the validity of the language you speak, nor does it lessen the ability that you have to express yourself. Though these words, phrases, and abbreviations may not seem valid to you, they are effective means of communications in some contexts.
It seems to me, then, that what concerns you is a widespread inability to communicate proper in our society, and this concerns me as well; if someone uses ‘internet talk’ when conversing with you or someone similar, they are using ineffective language and poor communication not because the language is necessarily flawed in itself, but because it is not the optimal mode for communication with the audience in question. It would be similar to me using language similar to that which I use here to talk with a typical teenages; it would be understood, but not appreciated.
23 Aaron on Tue, Apr 25th 2006 10:24 pm
I don’t so much care about the cutting of corners to save time. What concerns me is that kids who get too comfortable talking like this will miss out on valuable practice expressing themselves in coherent, accepted language. Because most kids are typing more than talking, and most of those kids are using "lazy English", the only real writing experience they’ll have will be from short assignments they’ve completed in school. Even many of them could struggle with such things because they’re so comfortable writing in lowercase and without the burden of placing commas and semicolons.
I don’t deny that there are plenty of people with a good command of the English language who’ve adopted the short-form method, but I don’t think you can deny that the use of this method could seriously stunt the development of kids’ writing skills.
Regarding the “casual vs. formal” argument: I think we can both agree that personality and tone can be just as clearly conveyed through properly-formatted English as it can through the use of the short-form version. You can make up your own words and follow grammar rules at the same time; I say “prolly” instead of “probably”, for example.
Though I suppose I didn’t state it outright in my original post, I’m more worried about the development of kids being raised by computers than about adults who’ve merely adapted to the modern way of writing. Because this method isn’t likely to replace “formal” English anytime soon, I think allowing kids to get too comfortable with it could be dangerous to their futures. I believe in correcting poor posture before it turns into scoliosis.
24 John on Tue, Apr 25th 2006 11:44 pm
Serial Experiments Lain ftw…
25 Ande on Wed, Apr 26th 2006 12:27 am
First of all, I would like to see some data showing that most kids talk more than type. Though the amount of computer based activities like typing are growing, I am fairly certain that the number of ours kids spend talking verbally is greater than the number they spend typing. Also, though I’ll admit most of the kids I know online use such phrases as lol, they do not abuse it to the point where there is no other substantial content in their writing. In fact, the way I see it used in no way detracts from their sentences, for example one might say "lol noob I got an 80." The "proper" way of saying this might be "Haha I got an 80.", but this common use of the "annoying acronyms" does not limit the writers vocabulary, because they are not commonly used as replacements for every other word in the english language. To the concern for degrading grammar in kid’s, online, conversations, yes grammar is not all that important because it isn’t needed to casually convey ones views or feelings in most situations. Even though one can portray personality and tone through grammatically correct english, it is not neccesary and takes longer to write out. Although this could prove a problem in carried into more formal writing, I find it is not. Throughout and before the age in which kids talk online, they attend school and learn about the english language. They are only tought the "proper" english language and are told it is the only right way to write. This means they will have to learn "lazy english" elsewhere, perhaps through the internet or from a sibling, and the majority will not connect the two styles of writing as the same. For example, in the spanish language there are two words for you, one being a formal you and the other informal. Let’s say the formal you was "proper" english and the informal you was "improper" english, talking with your friends in an informal situation, using the informal you, does not mean that you conversations in which you are supposed to be formal will be infected with this other informal word. To sum up, using a different writing style in an online conversation with you friend will not affect your formal writing style. These two styles are kept seperate when being taught and the situations they are used in are so different that it is fairly easy to keep them seperate.
26 Aaron on Wed, Apr 26th 2006 8:24 am
But consider the frequency of occurences in which kids need to speak formally. Not often. At all.
And, even still, there’s nothing wrong with saying “noob” in my book. I say it, too. People can still use casual English while abiding by its rules.
And growing up more comfortable with that separate language most likely WILL impede their learning of the “proper” English. English 101 isn’t enough. I can’t count the number of times in a day I hear people (adults included) saying things like “There’s two over there!” Misused contractions are everywhere (especially that one) because nobody thinks to examine what they’re saying/writing anymore. They grew up saying it without ever being corrected, and now it’s second nature. I call my girlfriend on it almost daily, and every time I do, she wonders why she keeps saying it. She does because it’s how she learned to talk. “how wz ur day” is how kids are learning to write (there are six-year-olds on MSN these days) so it stands to reason that they too will have SOME trouble breaking whatever bad habits they start as a result of this.
27 Ande on Wed, Apr 26th 2006 11:00 am
It would be fairly sad if bad grammar, like "There’s two over there!", was not corrected in school, but it still is in every school I have seen. If it got to the point in which the difference between there’s and there was dissapeared, then that would be okay because yes, despite what you may think, the english language changes. What you are describing is the majority of Americans using and understanding this misuse of the word there’s, which is ok. Languages change sometimes, you don’t have to fight it.
28 Aaron on Wed, Apr 26th 2006 2:12 pm
So you’re saying it’s ok to speak improperly because it can be defended as being the early phase of yet another "evolution" in the English language? I don’t think it’s too much to ask that "There’s" be corrected with "There’re". It could get out of hand. So long as people understand the meaning, I guess it could be argued that it’s fine. But so long as proper sentence formation is important, correcting it isn’t wrong.
29 Ande on Wed, Apr 26th 2006 5:19 pm
I’m saying the way you describe it, it’s ok because the majority of people use it and understand it. Well if you really wanted people could use There’re, although according to your arguement that wouldn’t be correct seeing as it isn’t a "proper" word…
30 Aaron on Wed, Apr 26th 2006 6:51 pm
It’s not proper, but it still follows the rules. It’s a casual "There are". Like "can’t".
I think by now my point’s clear… Kids are getting really comfortable using bad English and are forming some seriously bad habits that are going to be very tough to kick. If I were a parent, I’d be cracking down.
31 Ande on Wed, Apr 26th 2006 7:15 pm
Follows what rules? It is different than can’t in that it is not recognized as a word. Ah nice strategy, just give up the argument saying you were right. Personally I think that is a worse habit than writing "There’s five soccer balls!", just me though…
32 Mike H. on Wed, Apr 26th 2006 8:18 pm
There are two types of language; informal and formal. You will notice there are informal and formal tenses in almost every language you see. For example, in Japanese, there is an informal "dictionary form" that one would never speak to an adult in as a child, and an adult would never speak to a boss/superior in. These informal tenses are very similar to speaking in english. Acronyms are used for one reason and one reason ONLY, to make typing easier while people can still understand it. There isn’t much to be debated there.
As long as the user realizes that what they’re using are acronyms, informal speech, there are no problems at all.
However. When it becomes a problem is when you’re writing an essay on a given topic, and using "chat speak" and acronyms that are not predefined. For example, you wouldn’t get angry at someone for using U.S.A. instead of United States of America, or soviet, USSR. Such things are normal and are to be expected when typing, sometimes even writing.
Absent that, everybody has two sides, possibly more, but at least two. Some call these moods, others call these personalities. I call them sides. "Playful" and "serious" can be considered two moods, "good, and "bad". When someone I am talking online, and am in a good mood, I may at times let a "lawl" slip through my fingers. This is not the end of the world. This isn’t even the beginnings of a habit whatsoever. It’s barely laziness.
In conclusion. It seems to me that your point of view is as follows: "usrs" can be seperated into two categories. Those who are, "intelligent" and those who are, "unintelligent." The "intelligent" folk are those who speak with capitals and periods, and the "unintelligent" are those who speak casually. I tend to believe that online, you don’t have to be so incredibly tightass about how you type. You are intelligent as long as you can distinguish what slang and style of writing, proper or improper is appropriate between posting replies on message boards, chat, myspace comments, emails, handwritten essays, common speech, and casual speech.
33 Aaron on Wed, Apr 26th 2006 9:34 pm
I think this writing was inspired by my realizing that people rarely actually laugh when they say "lol". It got me thinking about how it started out as an actual representation of an otherwise incommunicable act (aside from "Haha" which isn’t quite as descriptive, I’ll admit) and became a replacement for "haha" or even a mild chuckle, "heh".
I’m not arguing that using "lol" or any short-forms is a bad idea in itself. I’m suggesting that perhaps it’s going to create a shockwave of illiteracy through the next few generations. One last time: I’m talking about KIDS using this stuff. Overusing this stuff.
34 Mike H. on Wed, Apr 26th 2006 11:27 pm
Just letting you know.
Tim and Ande are 16.
I’m 15.
We’re kids and we avoid \”lol\” like the devil.
Lastlly, using acronyms, (even sarcastically) dosen’t mean the next generation won’t be able to read or write. If anything, it will make them more literate and educated on how languages can be changed, modified, and used to make life easier.35 Aaron on Thu, Apr 27th 2006 12:16 am
It could mean more difficulty for kids who don’t have any natural appreciation for the written word as you folks do. My 7th grade English class taught me just about everything I know, but only because I found it all very interesting and my teacher forced use to write about 1500 words a week. If emphasis isn’t put on proper grammar and spelling, most kids will probably just shrug it off and contribute to the ever-lowering standards of secondary and even post-secondary school English teachers.
It probably goes far beyond the need for spelling and grammar, but students’ writing these days (at least, the writing of students whose works I’ve peer-edited) seems strikingly sloppy. Confused homonyms EVERYWHERE, misplaced or non-existent commas, and even failure to capitalize proper nouns… Perhaps not entirely due to the fact that the majority of their writing is done in MSN-speak, but I’d be willing to wager that its effects are significant.
36 Mike H on Thu, Apr 27th 2006 6:59 pm
That makes it the teacher’s fault and the kid’s fault; not a fault with the word \”lol\” or other such acronyms.
Now, even more significant. If people fail to proof-read their essays for spelling and grammar, they’re just as doomed as if they spoke with lol and such. For example, I’m going to take your initial post and put it into Microsoft word and count the typos (not including the examples of \”lol\” \”rofl\” and such aminities.)
Assuming each spelling error is -.5 and every grammar mistake is -1 percentage point, I will give you a grade, in my next reply, and explain each deduction in full.
37 Ande on Thu, Apr 27th 2006 7:16 pm
It seems to me that what you’re saying is that there is a problem with the school system enforcing "proper" English, and that students are taking advantage of the lack of enforcement, using "MSN-speak"(I’m guessing you mean the casual online language.) in their writing. Being a student who, as you had mentioned, is being raised by the Internet, I strongly disagree with your claim that the way kids talk online greatly affects their writing in other situations. Having read many papers of my fellow students, I have seen no uses of "MSN-speak" in there writing, and there for I believe I am just and right in disagreeing. I do however, believe that there is a problem in the school systems with being able to teach.
38 Mike H. on Thu, Apr 27th 2006 9:41 pm
"realise" -.5, the second word of your rant is spelled wrong. Do you not realize?
"but frankly the only things I care deeply enough to write about are things that anger me." -Just seems a bit awkward. Not really a grammar mistake, however repitition of the word "things" seems odd. so I’ll say -.5
"I think that’s why it was created: as a necessary replacement for audible expression." -Colons work like periods. Use them sparsely, they seperate two different ideas. A simi-colon would be appropriate. -1
"And ‘lmao’?"-Sentence fragment. -1
"and son on?" -.5 for one spelling mistake, -1 for sentence fragment.
"looks just as light-hearted to me."-Light hearted is two seperate words. -1
"While lol’s existence is substantiated, others such as ‘stfu’ and ‘wtf’ were created by lazy smack-talkers; either they didn’t want their parents to see that they were cussing, or they couldn’t be bothered to type a full insult." -Runon sentence. -1
"What about ‘brb’?" Sentence fragment. -1
"Granted, if someone’s stepping out, they’ll probably be in a hurry so using an acronym here may seem justified, but no." -Runon sentence. -1
"It’s still laziness." -Sentence fragment. -1
"b-lining" -It’s bee. Like the insect. -.5
"I hope you’re all taking notes here" -500 for being a dickweed.
"Before long, you’ll be droppin’ commas and semi-colons like a 10th-grader and you’ll get ALL the women." -Another -500 for being a dickweed.
"Ok, so maybe it won’t make you popular, but it will protect you from coming across like an uneducated moron (no smiley here because I mean it; write that in your notes) who’s too busy following trends to learn and use his own fucking language." -1 for runon sentence.
"And that, my friend, is a life skill." -500 again for being wrong.
You got an 89.5. That’s marginal, considering you’re bitching at the whole of the internet community for using "internet slang" on the internet.
If you’re going to be an english professor, I want you to write me an entire rant without any sentence fragments and runon sentences. You seem not to be able to regulate the length of your sentences; too long or too short. Fix this problem before you criticise anybody else, no matter how minute their problem is.
In your attempt to facilitate your infanitecimal wit, you have actually made a fool of yourself to the majority of NC.
39 Mike H. on Thu, Apr 27th 2006 9:45 pm
Oh, were I grading strictly, your actual grade would be -1410.5.
Even though that rounds up to a -1411, it’s still failing.
40 Mike H on Thu, Apr 27th 2006 9:49 pm
And P.P.Fucking.S. If I was actually charging you for comments, you’d owe me $7,000,000,000. Not fourteen cents.
41 Aaron on Fri, Apr 28th 2006 4:41 pm
Woah nessy, I realise (realize and realise are both acceptable in Canada, though I am guilty of inconsistency from writing to writing) that you’re 16 and proud of your knowledge, be careful when proofreading the works of others as you’ve done here.
The "sentence fragments" and "runon sentences" you’ve fingered above are in fact perfectly acceptable. They’re part of my style, and they aren’t even syntactically wrong so I’ve no idea what you’re on about.
My varied sentence length is a stylistic method of maintaining the reader’s attention and is a useful indication of a tonal change.
My use of that colon was proper, too. Go look that one up.
Typos happen, and I accept full responsibility for that "n". I don’t believe I ran this one through MS Word, or I simply missed that one amidst the sea of squiggles under the intentional misspellings. My bad.
As for my being an arrogant “dickweed”, I think I wrote a separate article on that very point. I choose to let it go on the grounds that I was being facetious rather than flat-out pompous; something you’re probably guiltier of than I.
I’m not going to put fourth the same effort by robotically spellchecking your comments here, but rest assured you’ve made a few mistakes yourself; errors more severe than anything you’ve barked at me for.
I think we’ll have to agree to disagree, or simply agree that you’re misinterpreting my entire argument and seeing it for something it’s not. Either way, I think we can consider this finished.
42 Ben H. on Fri, Apr 28th 2006 8:59 pm
Lol. Agree to disagree? Your point does not convince me to believe it by any stretch, partially because you were stressing grammar but your grammar wasn’t exactly excellent, and partially because you got pwned by a bunch of teenagers. You only want to consider it finished because you don’t want to be openly humiliated by them anymore. Oh, btw, an uppercase HAHA is no more correct than saying lmao.
43 Aaron on Fri, Apr 28th 2006 9:20 pm
Yes, I was pwned. You all came strutting in here looking to flaunt to your literacy and hone your proofreading skills on a blog written by some nobody, and I’m the loser here? Being 16 and able for form a cogent argument shouldn’t be the accomplishment you kids feel it is. I’m unfazed by any failure on my part to convince some hothead kids that always taking shortcuts will yield lazy people. It’s a logical thought, and I don’t doubt that it’s true for at least a good chunk of today and tomorrow’s youth.
You folks can stand tall and try to use yourselves as examples, but maybe your school teachers or your parents have put more effort into teaching you how to write. My situation is different, and from my perspective it’s a problem.
Nobody’s "winning" any argument here; you’re a few zealots playing "let’s impress the stranger with our knowledge". Your firm grasp of grammar and punctuation shouldn’t be anything to brag about. Every kid your age should be just as competent, but it’s not going to happen while they’re getting all cozy using this pseudo-English alternative.
If you’d like to continue this, keep it tasteful and tactful. Anything otherwise is getting dumped.
44 Ben H. on Fri, Apr 28th 2006 9:34 pm
We’re not trying to "impress the stranger", we’re simply arguing the outrageous claims that you made about how speaking with these words makes you somehow speak English worse.
45 Ande on Fri, Apr 28th 2006 9:54 pm
Number one, I didn’t come in here trying to show off vocabulary and logic, because I know that these aren’t my strong parts. I read your blog and, seeing only replies that whole heartedly agreed, decided to post at least one counter argument so that others reading, who may be drawn to agree with you since there are only anti-lol posts, would have something to to weigh your argument against. I do not only give myself as an example. I give my school, town, county, and 95% of those who I know online as examples. They all know the difference between casual and professional writing and use them accordingly. English has always been my worst subject and, receiving no extra help, it remains my worst subject.
If you would like I can make derogatory claims too. Your ability to have a blog and make ridiculous claims on it, changing those claims whenever challenged, accuse anyone who disagrees with you of being arrogant and haughty, and pretend to be better than those who disagree is nothing special for someone of any age.
46 Aaron on Fri, Apr 28th 2006 11:24 pm
I’ve only just now re-read my post and remembered exactly what prompted me to write it: I was "abused" and kicked off some game server for using grammar and punctuation in my chat messages. I wasn’t being "formal", but they said it was annoying, made some other ridiculous claims, and concluded I was unfit to play on their server. Frustrated, I wrote this post with those kids in mind. I suppose I was the victim of some kind of fucked up prejudice against those who capitalize the first letter of their sentences.
Though I don’t think that every user of the lazy style is an idiot, some are. They’re who I wrote to. You guys came along and made your points to counter it, and I wrote back with my calmly thought-out reasons as to why there may be consequences to learning English while simultaneously making use of lazy-speak in every non-school-related writing activity. Again, this isn’t some broad generalization I’m making. It’s speculation and nothing more. I don’t plan on conducting a survey. I’m merely suggesting people think about it, and maybe some parent will read it and decide to quiz his or her child on the fundamentals. The post itself was written as a rant, but I think my "theory" holds water regardless.
47 Ande on Sat, Apr 29th 2006 3:39 pm
Ok so your theory is pure speculation, but it holds water?
48 Mike H. on Sun, Apr 30th 2006 2:42 pm
Aaron on Mon, Jul 4th 2005 8:35 am
"…..God, I’m such a newb."
Yup. :]
49 † ThE cHaMp™ † on Wed, Jun 21st 2006 3:02 am
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