Writings
Thanks for the Memories » Mon, Mar 19th 2007 7:18 pm
When the pillar of our relationship snapped and my world came crashing down, I turned to my playlist for support. It’s all I had, and I am forever grateful for the sympathetic and fitting words of the songs that got me through.
Tonight, the headphones will deliver you
the words that I can’t say.
Tonight, I’m writing you
a million miles away.
In the beginning, I was in denial. I blamed myself for everything. I convinced myself that I was a bad person; a slave to my anxiety and to my “disorderly” love of order.
I wrote letters asking for understanding, apologizing for everything I’d done wrong. I explained that I would change, with or without her. That things could be better, whether we were together or not. But my words fell on deaf ears and blind eyes. She was on her own (so to speak) and enjoying herself. I felt like I had no one, while she had everything and then some…
Tonight is all about “We miss you now.”
These friends are, new friends are golden.
I turned to friends. My thoughts were a nauseating concoction of anger and regret, jealousy and sorrow. It was extremely difficult for me to bring myself to open up about my situation, but I don’t regret it. They were supportive and I was glad to be reassured that I do, in fact, have others in my life willing to listen to me talk beyond my usual sarcastic, cynical ramblings.
One night, and one more time.
Thanks for the memories,
even though they weren’t so great.
“He tastes like you only sweeter.”
There was a third dimension. A third party. My supposed lack of attention led her eye a wandering, and while I would like to describe how this felt in detail, words fail me. A promise, broken. My heart, shattered. My self esteem, devastated. My trust, exhausted. For all I’d done wrong, I didn’t deserve this. For all I’d done right…
But time passed and, for a while, I was feeling better. She seemed to be doing well and I was oddly comforted by this. She hadn’t been single for this long in years, and I actually felt a little pride, feeling like I was at least partially responsible for her growth. I was dealing with my guilt, and I still believed that she was the victim in all of this.
The truth hurts worse than anything I could bring myself to do to you.
And then, as though with brand new eyes, I saw things for what they were. She’d had no intention of being single; a mere ruse for my “benefit”, I suspect. I, a domino like the boys before me, toppled onto the next while she rode the momentum. There have been no lessons learned, and the events of our past stand out to me now like warning beacons that I overlooked or simply refused to heed for fear of what she might have done.
Let’s play this game called “when you catch fire”.
I wouldn’t piss to put you out.
Stop burning bridges and drive off of them,
So I can forget about you.
I can say now, with pride, that I have triumphed over the Everest that has been this year-and-a-quarter-long relationship. I made my mistakes, but when I remember the way things were in the beginning and reflect on when things began to sour, it is apparent that the pivotal fault was hers. Or her.
I write this now because I need to, not because I want to. I’ve held everything in because I believed it was the right thing to do. But, I’ve grown weary of my selflessness towards her. I will not shelter her any longer from the consequences of her own actions. I will not share the half-truths anymore. And I won’t be the sole bearer of the responsibility for our failure.
So bury me in memory.
His smile’s your rope,
So wrap it tight around your throat.
I dealt with horrible things with the hope that we could overcome and forget them. I stood by her while she rebuilt herself to better face the realities of Real Life. For the pain of this, I grew resentful and problems of my own began to sprout. When the time came that it was I who sorely needed to be understood, I had already lost her to another. Not an hour after I dropped her off, he was at her house and it was then that their lips met for the first time. A domino…
I never thought I’d find myself here; not like this. Not so full of contempt, disappointment, and shame for whom I once loved so dearly. Her hypocrisy has radically and permanently altered the way I look at people. From this, I’ve derived what I’m sure will prove to be my most valuable lesson: The jealous are not to be trusted.
Despite it all, I do believe that I’m a better person now; stronger, wiser, and far less naive. I’ve tasted love, and am eager to discover The Real Thing, wherever and whenever that may be.
I am her loss.
So wear me like a locket around your throat.
I’ll weigh you down, I’ll watch you choke.
You look so good in blue. You look so good in blue…
1 Kevin on Mon, Mar 19th 2007 8:28 pm
It looks like you’re getting it.
2 John Smith on Mon, Mar 19th 2007 9:57 pm
Ryan > Drew > Kevin > Aaron > New Guy. Days single in between: Zero.
Good luck to you, New Guy.
3 Chris on Thu, Mar 22nd 2007 10:31 am
Yeah… the whole situation is pretty mind boggling. Just goes to show you, though… people aren’t often as they seem. Or, in this example, people are like, the exact opposite as they seem—with a dash more ‘psycho’ than anticipated.
Yowza. I love the Everest metaphor, too! I’m telling you, the next relationship that you’re in will be so, so much easier. Find somebody who is as independent as yourself, and you won’t get that feeling as though you’ve secured a boat anchor to your
testes and tossed it overboard. Just wait and see—it’ll be good stuff, better than you’ve ever known.
4 x on Thu, Mar 22nd 2007 1:15 pm
Reading what you’ve written on your website reminds me of high school…a wonderful time of immature, self-absorbed, malicious and whiny times. You (and the people who have commented) have made yourselves look disgusting and pathetic by victimizing people and manipulating situations to gain sympathy that is really not deserved. Grow up, move on, and get a life.
5 Aaron on Thu, Mar 22nd 2007 1:28 pm
I don’t seek sympathy. I’m just making sure that the guilty don’t get away clean. Nothing I’ve written is exaggerated.
You say I’ve been “victimizing people and manipulating situations.” Either you lack the whole story, or you’re just an idiot trying to defend a friend in the wrong. Read it back to yourself slowly, and then reconsider to whom your comment applies best.
And yes, this whole situation is very reminiscent of high school, but I’m not the immature one here. I’m just the one who got the short stick, and posting my thoughts on the matter is not something I’m ashamed of.
You didn’t spend sixteen months with someone who expressed, relentlessly, her fear that you would commit infidelity, only to have her commit it herself. There is no quality which she possesses that will redeem her for that degree of hypocrisy.
6 x on Thu, Mar 22nd 2007 1:47 pm
If you’re not trying to gain sympathy, then you’re just trying to gain alliances and create problems for someone you can’t get over. You’re attacking someone in an unfair way by publicly whining to all of your biased friends, who will obviously support your bitching while only going by one side of the story. Even if what you have been writing ISN’T exaggerated (but is), you’re talking about not only YOUR private life and relationship, but someone else’s. That is what makes this so dispicable.
7 Aaron on Thu, Mar 22nd 2007 2:00 pm
I didn’t write this for friends. I wrote it for everyone. I wrote it, mostly, for myself. And please, point out any exaggerations, misrepresentations, or omissions of facts.
As for privacy, are you saying I should have kept what she did to myself? Would you have? Would you have told no one? Again, there is no way you’ll ever be able to grasp the disappointment and disbelief I felt when I found out what really happened.
And if I have to suffer the embarrassment of being so cleverly deceived, the guilty can deal with the mere revelation of what they did to me. If they are so ashamed and hurt, it is not my fault. They brought this upon themselves. They’ll reap what they’ve sewn.
I’ve eliminated biases by telling the entire truth. Read the backlog of this site for various expressions of my love for her. Now read the recent entries. You might finally get a sense of how this felt for me. Of how shocking it was to learn that someone as otherwise kind and sweet could so disregard the feelings of another, and all to make things easier on herself.
I honestly hope you never know what it was like. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. Nobody except her, perhaps.
8 x on Thu, Mar 22nd 2007 2:30 pm
What you claim as “truth” is what you ASSUME is truth. Unless you witnessed it or had it admitted to you, it is all your own interpretation. And we both know, neither of those situations apply. I don’t think you need to keep things that are difficult in your life to yourself. Talking to people you trust, and KNOW, about it is acceptable and encouraged; but you are broadcasting your thoughts on something that you are just assuming happened and are looking for ways to hurt someone that you feel has hurt you. As for backlogs of what you might have written in the past that is positive about her, it’s all just words. Was it expressed to her or just to your computer? No one knows the difference if they’re just reading a blog. I don’t need proof that you loved her, anyways. I’m not talking about your ability to be a good boyfriend. I’m commenting on your ability to be a decent, mature person. She, for understandable reasons, chooses not to publicize her feelings on a website in order for your readers to see from both points of view. Whatever her decision for leaving you was, it was HER decision about a PRIVATE matter between you and her.
9 Aaron on Thu, Mar 22nd 2007 2:52 pm
She did admit to these things.
And I welcome her side of the story. I didn’t reveal any of these things to be malicious. I revealed them because that’s what it took to defend my name in all of this. Everyone knows she left me, and everyone knows she’s already in another relationship. I will not stand idly by while my reputation as a decent person is being threatened.
And finally, I don’t care that she left me. Given the circumstances, it was the right thing to do. I told her that. But the way she did it, by first securing another relationship, is something I care deeply about. It’s something she always told me that she cared deeply about, too.
I would have said all of these things to her and listened to her defence, but when it became clear that she was incapable of being honest when it really mattered, I decided, yes out of anger, to give her incentive to change. She needed everyone to know what it is she did so that her reputation can again reflect who she really is. From there, she can rebuild.
No, she is not simply someone who can’t keep her word. She is smart, funny, adorable, caring, adventurous, and so many other great things. But when she jumped back into a relationship without first fixing the things that were so very wrong, I was disappointed to say the least.
She knows who I am, and how I think. She knows that I’m not the type to spread lies for the sole sake of revenge. I spilled the beans on what really happened so that she could see, through the eyes of as many people as possible, who it is she’s become, or perhaps who it is she was always hiding from me.
Her history proves that it wasn’t me who brought this out in her. I’m just the first to make an attempt to break the pattern; for her sake, and for the sake of whoever she falls in love with next.
10 Chris on Thu, Mar 22nd 2007 3:02 pm
There’s a quote that I really like, “Reputation is what you do when people are looking. Character is what you do when they are not”.
It seems to me that she tried to do this thing in such a way as to keep it from as many people as possible. I suppose it was an attempt to protect her reputation — but it is very obvious that she doesn’t know a God damned thing about character. Or, I suppose, maybe she does, and just doesn’t care what kind of person she’s become (or perhaps always has been).
And yes, this is so very high school, I agree. It’ll all be over soon, I know, and everybody will be grateful. But right now, this is fresh… and if Aaron wants to post an accurate representation of the events that transpired — he’s free to do so. If anybody is worried about being embarassed… well, hey, just read that quote one more time.
11 x on Thu, Mar 22nd 2007 3:03 pm
Yes, I’m so sure that this is all in her best interest. That is so ridiculous. Beginning a relationship AFTER breaking up with someone is a decision one can make when only thinking about what s/he wants because they are now single. If a relationship has ENDED and a new one begins, there is no reason for it to be judged. There is a difference between starting with someone new AFTER a prior one has ended, and being unfaithful. YOU have made it seem she was unfaithful. That is a harsh accusation. If you think that a friendship developing into something else when the opportunity (you two breaking up) comes along is happening too soon, this doesn’t make it something it isn’t (infidelity).
12 Aaron on Thu, Mar 22nd 2007 3:10 pm
You’re right. If a girl can kiss another man within one hour of ending a sixteen month relationship, who am I to pass judgement?
Who am I to complain that, despite this kiss, and despite her leaving me, we shared a passionate kiss the day afterwards? I was told that she had to “think things over”. I was given false hope. Emotional infidelity is nearly as great a crime as physical infidelity, so don’t you dare accuse me of overreacting.
And let it be known that if ever she can leave a relationship on her own free will, without the comfort of another man’s open arms to land immediately into, there is nothing that would make me happier than to write that success story. Her potential as a human being is enormous, but letting her make the same mistakes over and over is just going to cripple her further and further.
So yes, this is in her best interest. Apparently I’m the only one with any foresight here.
13 x on Thu, Mar 22nd 2007 3:22 pm
Clearly, the person running the website is going to get the last word in. And the majority of the people, since they are always one your site and are automatically your supporters/friends, are going to be in your defence whether you are in the right and are being truthful or not. I came on here to be the ONE defender of the person you are victimizing, and to point out the evil ways you’re going about dealing with this problem and your bitterness.
14 Chris on Thu, Mar 22nd 2007 3:29 pm
I don’t see how you think that this is a ‘problem’ that’s being dealt with. It’s not really his problem now, is it? He’s basically just telling the story. It pisses me off to know how she went about keeping this all a big secret. Now you and her are upset that the secrets out? There’s nothing to be ashamed of, in either of your eyes…
Oh, and this site is very public. Invite your friends, her friends… whoever you want.
15 x on Thu, Mar 22nd 2007 3:38 pm
Why is it important that what you THINK happened pisses YOU off? That was part of my point. It’s none of anyone’s business, it was no one else’s life, and you’re going by what HE says. As far as you KNOW, there is no shame, and there were no secrets kept.
And my commentary has nothing to do with how she feels. It’s about how I feel towards what Aaron’s doing.
16 Aaron on Thu, Mar 22nd 2007 3:39 pm
You’re not the only defender. I’m defending her, or at least the person I know she can be. I am, however, attacking what she did. And nobody who knew the truth about everything that happened would be able to defend that.
There are no last words in this. “The last word” is a cop out, and you know it. If you believe something is right, defend it. I am open to discussing it. But you will never convince me that her handling of this situation was anything more than terrible. And you won’t convince me that she, or anyone, can safely hop from one long-term relationship to the next without ever stopping to find herself and analyse what might have really gone wrong.
All I can say is that time will prove me right. I think deep down, we both know it. But one of us is motivated by hope, while the other is motivated by experience.
17 Chris on Thu, Mar 22nd 2007 3:43 pm
Well, the fact of the matter is… I don’t “think” that she made Aaron promise not to tell me what she was doing and about to do… I know that she did.
So, enlighten me… or defend those actions of hers that I can’t imagine a legitimate defense be mounted for…
Why would she make him promise not to tell me what she was doing? I mean, on the surface it’s like she felt that I’d think less of her… but why would I do that, if she didn’t think she was doing anything wrong? And if she did think it was something worthy of tarnishing her reputation (in my eyes, anyways), then why’d she feel that it was right for her to proceed?
So yeah, go ahead and defend her hypocricy and idiocy… I look forward to a perspective that can portray those actions in an amiable light.
18 x on Thu, Mar 22nd 2007 4:07 pm
I am not going to “openly discuss” the situation or “enlighten” anyone. That would involve going into detail and doing exactly what I’m saying you shouldn’t be doing.
Like I have said, my purpose for commenting was only to point out that publicly bashing someone and encouraging help from readers is unfair and immature. I’m all for freedom of expression and sharing thoughts, but people on here know who your girlfriend was. You’re not anonymously venting for yourself.
Any personal problem someone has with someone should be discussed with that person. Especially if you have so many questions.
19 Chris on Thu, Mar 22nd 2007 4:18 pm
If there were ‘details’ unknown to me that would clear her name, then I’m sure she’d have told me so. Instead, she wanted to keep it a secret, for fear of what I’d think.
Strange that she’d go through such lengths to try and protect her image… it only made her look worse in the end. She’s free to talk to me if she wishes… although she can’t even maintain eye contact.
But yeah, I’m done here. You can go on protecting her… I’m sure she’ll love you for it.
Just one more thing… I’ve said this before, and I think Aaron has too. The fact that she broke up with him is absolutely okay. The fact that she made him lie to protect herself is what gets to me. So, it just seems fitting for me to tell that much of the story. She lied and made Aaron lie to me to protect herself, so now I get to expose the whole thing. I think she should be embarassed — I hope she is.
Now, the fact that she leapt into another relationship… honestly, it began through an emotional infedility, and that’s not cool… but other than that, it is her choice — just don’t try and sell it as if it was a ‘good’ thing to do. I don’t see why anybody would want to be with somebody who can’t be alone, anyways. But hey, that’s not my problem — that much is definitely a fact.
And now… I’m done.
20 Pete on Thu, Mar 22nd 2007 4:21 pm
Post with something other than an ‘x’, and you’d have a bit more weight behind your words. Posting anonymously is pretty weak.
He posted it. His friends read here. He got it off his chest. Yeah, it’s ‘public’ in the sense that anyone can come here, but I somehow doubt that most of the people you guys all read here. So really, I doubt it would have spread much past the people that would have known much about this anyhow.
Venting to yourself is pretty useless, so he vented here to the friends that read. It’s just written down instead of spoken. Like, had he had a few friends over and it came up, would you have perceived him telling his feelings on it as wrong?
Anyhow, this is pretty stupid. Breakups are messy. Shit happens, your efforts here create more drama that I think we can likely all agree is unnecessary.
P.S. Find a new anti-spam tool….god damnit I’ve typed that thing in like 3-4 times wrong now.
21 Aaron on Thu, Mar 22nd 2007 4:32 pm
You missed my purpose, though. Now they know her.
Her real friends won’t think any less of her. My hope there is that they’ll at least see that she has some kind of problem and help her acknowledge it when the time comes. If her new relationship should crash and burn, they’ll remember Aaron. They’ll remember Kevin. And Drew. And they’ll be right there telling her exactly what I’m trying to tell her now.
And no, I won’t talk to her. She won’t talk to me either, I’m sure. I can’t trust her to be honest anymore, so I won’t get any answers from the source. Besides, I have all the facts I need in order to conclude that her handling of this was “bad”.
Chris is mostly correct in that I felt pressure not to tell him what she’d done. He was friends with the guy she’s with now, and she wanted to protect everyone’s friendship. This in itself tells me that she wasn’t positive she would end up dating him, because nobody would be so foolish as to hope that they could conceal such a relationship once it got started. I mean, she would have known that shit would hit the fan when Chris saw her with Will anyway. I’ll give her the benefit of the doubt and assume she wasn’t just planning on hiding that from him.
So she wasn’t sure she’d end up with him. But Will himself told me that he put forth no effort whatsoever toward moving things along. It was her doing to lure him close so she could safely leap from me to him. And yet she wasn’t sure she’d stay with him…
How does this not scream instability? Insecurity? Excessive dependency? She was unclear of her intentions, but still made damn sure she had a Plan B, should she choose to leave me. What if she’d chosen to stay? Will would have been left feeling led on, manipulated, and used. She chose not to, so I was left feeling like that instead.
And yet they’re still together. And so I scream from my High Hill so that everyone can hear my words. So that everyone can know the story. So that she might finally realize that she has a huge problem and that he might realize that he’s only making it worse.
Pete is right. Break-ups are messy. But drama like this isn’t normal, and I’m bringing it because she isn’t normal either.
Every part of me hopes that, one day, she is.
22 x on Thu, Mar 22nd 2007 4:40 pm
I don’t need any WEIGHT behind my words since, if you didn’t notice any of the several times i said it, I am not giving my opinion on what happened. You don’t need to be a directly effected person to disagree with what I said I’m disagreeing with. You just have to be one with morals.
And I also said that talking to friends is obviously fine. This blog is definitely different. Otherwise, why would he do it?
23 x on Thu, Mar 22nd 2007 4:43 pm
And now, I’m done.
24 Aaron on Thu, Mar 22nd 2007 4:46 pm
I did it because they expect it here. And yes, I wanted it to reach people. People I know, and people she knows. For the reasons I stated.
Thanks for contributing. I know what you’re saying, and maybe I’ll regret it one day. But I, instead, believe that this may end up doing more good than harm.
25 Pete on Thu, Mar 22nd 2007 5:14 pm
Meh, you just come off as a bit of an ass to come here without a name and fuel all this. You’re not here giving your opinion? Wtf is this then?
You’re here attacking him for “attacking” her. Whatever, that’s fine, but get off your horse. You chose to involve yourself in this thing here and do a bit of turnabout.
He’s got every right to post the shit he wants here. To tell the people that are his friends his feelings. He gets to tell the same story once, rather than a bunch fo times, subject to the effects of the ‘telephone game’. He’d tell them the same deal in person, so why does it matter? Because the people sympathetic to her decided to come here and read this and get upset? Don’t come here then. What would you expect to read on a blog meant to be read by friends? His friends posted supporting comments, that’s why they’re friends. Why the hell is this blog different than just talking to his friends? Because you can come here to get upset?
Really, I have more respect for this than the typical shit that goes on post break-up. The talking behind one another’s backs and crap that goes on for a while. Here, you were given an open forum to voice your own views.
To be honest, when I read it, I didn’t really approve of the post either. I did respect his choice to post it though. I didn’t come here as some stranger and post shit about “OMG, you’re just whining for sympathy to all your sycophant friends, get a life.” No, you did that. You came here and started throwing that shit around.
26 Jaclyn on Fri, Mar 23rd 2007 9:23 am
Aaron
Can’t believe I am wasting my time responding to your posting, but your “ex-girlfriend” means so much to me. All I want to point out is that I know the truth about everything you also did. And I’m almost certain your going to deny it but I know better, and for all reading, I hung out with them the odd time and ya he was a pretty shitty boyfriend. She would call me often crying on the phone about something he did, and I had to point out to her that she was better then that and didn’t have to put up with it. But she did. For whatever reason. Arron I’d like to ask you why, knowning your “ex-girlfriends” past, you would put “I’ll watch you choke, you look so good in blue”. I hardly know you but putting that proves you did not love her and proves that you really are an asshole, without a heart.
One last thing, I have a song in mind that completely reminds me of you Aaron and her, when you had her. Its by Keith Urban, entitled “Stupid Boy”. I suguest you listen to it and read along with the lyrics. If you don’t you will again prove to me that you were not it the relationship for love. Sorry to say all this but its all true. I wont be returning on this website becuase you are a waste of my time, not to mention hers. So no need to respond. And don’t worry bout her she’s got lots of time to spend with me now and I’ll find her that one whos just right for her. Promise!
27 Aaron on Fri, Mar 23rd 2007 9:34 am
I don’t deny that I wasn’t the best boyfriend. But your complete disdain for me suggests that, you too, lack the full story.
Edit: Also, please don’t insinuate that there is some grand evil that I’m concealing from everyone. Yes, I left her to cry on her own sometimes. But that’s about the worst of it. Not very “boyfriendly” of me, no. But, I understand, you’re also aware of the not-so-very-girlfriendly things that she did to cause my bitterness. If you, presumably, know something more, by all means sully my reputation right here on my own site. I would welcome a reason to feel genuinely guilty for how I’ve handled this so far.
The lyrics, by the way, were not my words. And no I don’t wish those things upon her. They’re there to provide a glimpse at the anger I felt towards her for not being honest with me. For not ending the relationship before starting another.
That night, that I’m sure she’s explained to you, was the crux. It was at that moment that I lost all ability to end this relationship myself. I’m glad that she, eventually, got around to doing it on her own and I am very sorry that it had to be that way.
Finally, Jaclyn, I understand where you’re coming from. I know what it must be like to read what I’ve written knowing all of who she is. But try to extend that empathy beyond only your friend and understand what it would be like should you learn that your boyfriend decided that, because of some long (hypothetical) history of disagreement, he would find another girl, get close, and then break things off with you. This is where my problem is. That’s the last time I’ll say it.
And I did love her. Very much. But bitterness got the best of me and I slowly degenerated into the unfitting boyfriend you saw.
Finally, I hope you do find her the right one. Sadly, your efforts will be proven futile over and over until she can finally learn how to properly transition from one relationship to the next; that is, without trampling one person so that she and he can be happy.
28 Pete on Fri, Mar 23rd 2007 9:42 am
Thanks for posting with a name. It’s really all that incensed me to post in the first place.
You do your friend good service. Peace.
29 Aaron on Fri, Mar 23rd 2007 9:51 am
Yes, and thanks for not hiding behind an alias…
I read the lyrics to that song. I’d say they’re fitting, yes. But his female character does lack that particular flaw; you know the one I speak of.
I will never be proud of the way I treated her. I wish, now, everyday, that I’d let her go back then. That I’d forced her away against her will. But I didn’t. I was weak. And I’m more sorry for that than I think she, you, and the rest of her friends will ever know.
I can only hope that I’ve helped her spot the signs of a doomed relationship. And I was, and am still, grateful that she has a friend like you to see her through anything similar that she may well bring upon herself in the future. I’ve said it before: She has the potential to probably be the perfect girlfriend for the right guy. If she could only fix those things.
Thanks again for posting. I think it hit me just the way you intended.
30 Paul D on Fri, Mar 23rd 2007 10:02 am
Okay, I’m not here to state my opinions on the relationship or the breakup, other than saying that I hope everyone can move on swiftly.
However… Keith Fucking Urban? Seriously? You think there’s something relevant in a Keith Urban song, other than being a drunk Australian Cowboy who writes pop-country songs?
To quote Gob Bluth… Come On!
31 Aaron on Fri, Mar 23rd 2007 10:15 am
Heh. Jaclyn’s a country girl and her sources reflect it. Despite who wrote it or however one-dimensional it is, the lyrics do tell a story not unlike what I’d expect Alyson’s friends to believe of me and our relationship. It’s not the whole truth, but I know what Jaclyn’s saying by quoting it.
Edit: Also, I’d like to hope that my taking this whole thing so hard and dwelling on it for over a month is proof in itself that am not the heartless asshole she’s deemed me. I’m hurt. And angry. As she, or anyone, would be too had she gone through the same.
32 Kevin on Sat, Mar 31st 2007 2:32 am
Haha I’d like to commend whoever this Paul feller is for quoting Arrested Development. I’d like to also send out a special drunken “fuck you” to Alyson, because she is clearly doing the same blame dodging she did with me. You are a slut. I don’t care how much you’d like to act like a prissy little princess online or off. I fucking hate you. Aaron should(and I’m sure he is by now) too. Jaclyn is blinded by your manipulation as well.
You claim to be all high and mighty. You latch onto a boyfriend and have him feed you bullshit to back your fleeting self esteem. You latch onto anyone willing to be your friend for the same purpose. Jaclyn only hears what you tell her. If you read this Jaclyn, she is actually as bad as Aaron is making her out to be. I fucking hate you Alyson. I am an honest and good guy and she shat on me. I am drunk and this was a long time coming, but it doesn’t diminish the truth behind it. Shut the fuck up and kill yourself already.
33 Aaron on Sat, Mar 31st 2007 9:47 am
That was the most coherent “drunk rant” I’ve ever read. Kudos for the grammar!
The reality of how similarly you and I were treated by her is, well, “astonishing”, for lack of an even better word.
But I’ve since given up my anger on the matter. Eventually something will click and she’ll figure herself out. I really don’t care when that happens, but I’m positive that it will.
I have, instead, embraced this opportunity to work, meet new women (eventually!), and just plain relax. Every day, the smile I wake up with is bigger and bigger…
As much as I hate what she did, and how oblivious she is to herself, I still hope that she’ll come around one day; for her benefit, and for the benefit of the guys whose souls she keeps devouring. But I’m not going to be putting any more effort into being angry about any of this, I don’t think. Unfortunately, the futility of our efforts to make her see the truth is also quite astonishing. I can guarantee that she’s thinking I’m being immature or merely blowing this whole “little thing” out of proportion…